robokitty asked: Thanks for the follow!
Check out this shit: http://internethistory.tumblr.com/post/4994396456
http://internethistory.tumblr.com/post/4994406819
Kitteh Wuvs Baybee.
Babies and kittens! How cute!
Today we celebrate the 11th anniversary of the founding of our church by Steve and Grenadine Wakowski of Mumblepost, Maine. They are with God now and we shall soon swim in the Sea of Retribution with them.
It is said that when they received the revelation of the coming Deluge of Semen from the Lord’s angelic messenger, St. Seminis, Steve and Grenadine immediately ran to get this photo taken, so as to retain the looks of horrible enlightenment on their faces.
PRAISE THE LORD!
Fall to your knees… Miraculous Semen Jesus!
if you ask me nicely, i’ll take you on a date to a cinnabon.
So good to see we didn’t sell all the pastries at our bake sale; I love these cinnamon rolls. They’re especially good when they’re stale and the drizzle turns into a kind of sweet scab.
Anonymous asked: What can I do to become one of God blessed children?
BLOOD SACRIFICE.
COOKING CLASSES! BAKE SALE!
WOW! It’s been a long time since we updated the church blog. As a matter of fact, we got so wound up in buying Nikes and running our scientific experiments that we totally forgot about Christmas.
To make up for this we’ve decided to have Jenna Smith Rose run a cooking class/bake sale event this Saturday from 10:00AM to 9:45PM. In belated honor of Our Lord’s day of birth, Jenna will show us how to make, and then sell, her famous Ginger Lads.
Profits from the bake sale will go to fighting parishioner Barry “The Laser Snake” Custard’s extradition to Thailand, as well as to purchasing more slightly-used scuba gear for the congregation.
Thanks to Carrot Top for doing such a hilarious performance at the most recent First Church of the Semen Tsunami fundraising brunch event.
You just never know what he’ll pull out of his bag of tricks.
We raised no less than $500 to aid in the construction of our End Times Ark.
Hopefully, Hal Sparks will soon again grace our stage with one of his famous interpretive dances. I’d love to see what he and Carrot Top could do if they put their creative minds together.
Praise Christ.
More information. Laser Snakes.
With all of the events we have going on at the Church, building the ark, and of course our research projects, I’ve gotten way behind on answering your questions.
Now, be warned, I’m not sure if these anonymously submitted questions are all entirely sincere. I chose to answer them all anyways.